Upcoming Birth

To say I am not expecting this child to come early is a very true statement. And yet, I had a day full of odd pains and contractions on Saturday. Around 8:45am, after getting into my car on my way to a woman's conference from the YMCA, I had a sharp pain in my right abdominal side. It did not come and go, but rather remained a consistent pain and it hurt. Once I arrived at the conference I drank water and tried several different positions to relieve the pain. Nothing really helped though. Three hours into the steady pain, I called my midwife, just to confer with her and we agreed that I was not in labor. She suggested drinking more water and taking a bath. On the way home, the pain went away (after 5 hours of consistent tightness in the right side of my uterus/abdomen). So when I got home, I took a shower and bath. The pain was gone. My earlier conclusion of false labor confirmed.

Then around 3pm, I had a mild contraction. No biggie; I've had those for weeks. But then every 7 minutes for the next 1.5 hours, I had more contractions. They weren't painful though, just tightening of my uterus. Eventually the regularity of the contractions stopped too.

So at 5pm on Saturday 5 March, I found myself sitting outside on the grass with Carter, chilling and watching the cars and people went by. Every car that passed was a "fast car" to him. He pulled out a blanket from the couch and laid it over my feet and tucked himself under it too. That is going to be one of the last time where it was just me and him as my only child.

Just a touch of reality came over me and a treasuring in my heart of the kindness and ease of my favorite first-born. I call him my favorite first-born all the time. Sure, I know he will be my only first-born, but I want him to know that he is special. Our other children will be special too. I want them to know that they are special not based on anything they have done, but rather intrinsically for who they are. They don't need to earn our love. It will be there no matter.

Now, just because our love should be unconditional does not mean that their actions and what they do are not important. In fact, their actions and the way they live will tell more about their love for us and God. Somehow, we have to teach them unconditional love while requiring a life that honors God and others. I don't know if it's possible in math, but in my mind the love is mutually exclusive of the actions, but the actions are directly connected to the understanding of the reality of the love. Unconditional love is independent of the action, but the action is dependent upon unconditional love. Only God will be able to help us create such an environment that fosters unconditionally loved kids who live responsibly and passionately for Him.

So now, it is Sunday morning. I am up early with a few contractions through the night, but nothing of any consequence. If I have the baby early, then it needs to be today (my daddy leaves the country tomorrow) or not until next Monday. But, you know, God knows best and whenever the right time for this little one to come out gets here, I will be ready and thankful.

Speaking of thankful, I am so grateful that I have carried this little one this far. It's been a harder pregnancy than the one with Carter, but not miserable. I still feel incredibly well considering I am down to 15 days until due date. There are many things I will be happy to not deal with and many things I will be happy to gain back when not pregnant. But, the whole process of life is such a beautiful thing. It still amazes me that there is a baby inside and in a matter of minutes and hours that baby gets pushed out into this world. It's not here and then it is. And then life changes again.

I will be honest, I do not expect life to be that drastically different than from right now. Maybe I am choosing to ignore the inevitable, but then again, maybe I am determined to not let my children rule our lives--influence it, yes, but not rule it. May God give me and Scotty the wisdom, strength and passion to raise a family that adores the Creator of the world and the Redeemer of our hearts.

Two things I learned from the conference this weekend, if we do not walk with God ourselves and teach our children God's words, Scripture, then there is a very small "chance" of them living a life that is worthy of our Lord. So may I be desperate for God daily. May I have a passion for God's words that is passed on to my children, for from Him comes the springs of life. Jesus came not to just merely save us, for that is only the beginning, the starting point, but He came that we may have life to the absolute fullest. Without Him, life can be good, even great, but one will never know the full depths of a fulfilled life nor the joy of true intimacy without walking with Jesus Christ daily. You may wonder, how I can make that statement and I will tell you--I've tried it both ways. Jesus' way is better.

Now, when is this little one coming?